Fantasies

Top 10 Sex Fantasies for Men and Women Posted June 17, 2008 9:38 AM Posted in fantasies, sex, sexual fantasies Fantasy is a normal, healthy part of sex for men and women. In fact, many specialists claim that a rich fantasy life leads to better sex. One of the attractions of fantasy lovers--even when your fantasy lover is actually your current partner, as often happens--is that they're right beside you, and they know just what to do to make you feel good. Another benefit is that you can enjoy fantasy sex with someone other than your partner without repercussions, because it occurs solely in your mind. Fantasy gives you an outlet for all of the wild, lustful things that you've always wanted to do. You might be really turned on, for example, by the thought of doing it with your spouse in a convertible in the mall parking lot on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Chances are you're not going to try this one out for real, but you can go full speed ahead in your fantasies. The following tips are excerpted from "Hot Sex: How to Do It," by Tracey Cox. c. 1998 by Tracey Cox. Used by permission of Bantam Books, a division of Random House, Inc. What's She Thinking? 1. Fantasizing About Your Current Partner As with men, this is the number one sex fantasy for most women: things you've done, or would like to do, to your partner. It seems that the available flesh-and-blood is often more of a turn-on than the unattainable. 2. Sex with a Man Other Than Your Partner For women, this is most often a past lover. Some women feel adulterous or guilty reliving a particularly hot session from the past: don't. It's normal. If it's someone new you're fantasizing about, it's the old want-what-you-can't-have-syndrome. Being involved with a partner doesn't mean all other desirable men go away. So those adulterous feelings have to be dealt with in one way or another. The safest outlet of all is our imagination--and it's remarkably fertile. 3. Sex with Another Woman We're more likely to have same-sex fantasies than he is, probably because it's seen as more acceptable. We're also far less likely to get hung up on homophobic fears that we're gay. The woman featured isn't usually someone we know but she always knows exactly what to do to turn us on because she's got what we've got. 4. Something You've Never Tried Before These fantasies can include being tied up, threesomes, group sex, and watching others, among other things. While many women are outrageously experimental and imaginative in their fantasies, they often don't admit a desire for anything "kinky" to a partner for fear of being judged. Playing out the scenario in your head is the next best thing. For those who are open, fantasizing is also a form of rehearsal, upping the anticipation of experiencing it in reality. 5. Receiving Oral Sex It's the quickest, most effective (sometimes the only) way we orgasm, so it's not surprising it features heavily in our fantasies. The guy of our dreams doesn't just like giving oral sex, he's so enthusiastic he'd actually like to climb inside and stay there for days. Often he's a sex slave: tall, drop-dead gorgeous, and musclebound. 6. Fantasies Involving Romantic Sex This is the one most women readily admit to, probably because it's the most acceptable. Romantic fantasies are sex with emotional attachment and most read like a Harlequin plot: gorgeous man, incapable of loving one woman, meets us, is knocked over by our looks and headstrong personality, then ravishes us on a moonlit beach. 7. Sexual Ravaging "Sexual ravaging" is a very common female fantasy. Passionate and forceful but rarely violent and painful, the "ravagings" in our head differ dramatically because we're always in control. On the opposite end of the spectrum are fantasies where we force him to have sex with us, often in typically male-dominated situations like a courtroom or a business meeting. Being the aggressor or having physical power over him appeals because in real life it's usually the opposite. 8. Being Found Irresistible by a Man If you're so gorgeous/sexy/long-legged/stunning he can't help himself, you're absolved of responsibility once more. This is a favorite with women who still need permission to let go, but it's also a pleasant daydream for most of us. After all, who wouldn't want to be so beautiful they have men drooling at their feet. 9. Working as a Prostitute or Stripper This one's also popular with women who may be inhibited sexually in real life. In the fantasy, they indulge their true sexual selves under the guise of being paid for it. For men to pay to have sex with you is also reassurance that you're attractive: you have something men want so badly, that they'll hand over cash for it. Stripping is a more common variation on this theme: you tease the men mercilessly, and they're popping their zippers they're so turned-on by your body. 10. Sex with a Stranger In reality, this sort of sex usually works out rather badly. In our fantasies, it's tremendously rewarding. This is sex for the sake of sex and the reward is pure, unadulterated pleasure. You can be as wicked as you like because you'll never see him again. Sex with a "faceless" man is a variation that's even more of a turn-on. He comes up behind you, you feel rather than see him, and you can experience the sensations of sex without the intimacy of eye contact. What's He Thinking?


This article was taken from a seemingly respectable site?

http://www.thirdage.com/sex/top-10-fantasies-for-men-and-women

I found it to be rather interesting because it talks about "top 10 fantasies" that men and women have. Although the article seems to stay pretty water down, it does discuss a few of the fantasies in "Bound and Gagged". But it leaves many, many out. I wonder what Kipnis would say about these variations? Anyway it was kinda cool to read about these and see how a site that attempts to appeal to a large amount of people talks about fantasies that many times would or are frowned upon.

Bound and Gagged Chapters 3&4

Chapter 3 really has a lot of points about the way people and the media take on someone who they consider to be fat. After the Jerry Springer stint the book talks about pornography of fat woman and average men, in such things as magainzes. But what about in movies that hit theaters, such as Big Momma's house and Norbit just to name a few has left this image of people who are over weight. I think that says a lot of about our society, because we have this idea of what our idea of normal average people are, but in reality it isn't at all. Even though it isn't porn these movies give off this image of what we should think about someone who is over weight.

The book talks about Dimensions that is out purposely for fat admires as the book says. Then continues to say that it is in a way like homosexuality because they dare not to speak of it. People are so quick to judge anyone who is over weight, but they forget that ok yeah lets poke fun at them because we can. How can you compare someone who finds a person who may be heavier attractive to someone who is homosexual, there is no need to put two and two together.

Jer-ry!! Jer-ry!!

Kipnis later goes on to talk about an episode of Jerry Springer which was called "Fat Greeting Cards." There was a debate on this episode which featured Jerry and his audience versus overweight women featured in comical greeting cards. While the women said they thought the photos were empowering and made them feel sexy, Jerry and his crowd thought the women were making jokes out of themselves and their weight.

The main issue that I found with this segment of the chapter was the total attack on the women by the audience and even Jerry himself. While these greeting cards are found humorous by some people that give/receive them, these photos made these women feel beautiful. If they could get a sense of good self-esteem from starring in these cards, then I don't see why this would be a show segment at all. Eventually, the audience began attacking the women, calling them fat and a poor representation of overweight people. Isn't this the real societal problem? Not that women are appearing half-naked on a birthday card (as quite a few thin women have as well), but that a whole audience is putting them down because they feel good about themselves. We've talked in the past about television reflecting American society, and if this is how Americans are truly viewed, we have a major problem.

Bound and Gagged Chapters 3 & 4

Kipnis writes about how pornography confronts the public with ideas that disgust them, such as fat porn and gay porn.  She writes about how porn persuades people to venture outside of their comfort bubbles and conservative views.  Pornography is full of things that surprise people such as porn that shows the sexuality of the elderly.  Porn videos of aged people are surprising to our culture because we associate sexuality with youth.  This shows our culture’s norms and values, such as being thin means you’re attractive.

She writes that “this cult of bodily thinness and obsession with banishing fat is, of course, historically recent, and in sharp contrast to bodily aesthetics for the past four hundred years or so” (Kipnis 99).  Between 1500 and 1900, a bulky body was visually attractive to both men and women.  “And clothes themselves were bulky and designed to add volume to the body rather than emphasize a svelte profile” (Kipnis 99).  Thinness back then meant that you were poor and underprivileged.  People who were larger were seen as wealthy and fortunate. 

This shows the clear connection between body type and social class.  Today, the connection between body type and social class still exists, but the tables have turned (at least in American culture) and thinness now represents upper-class.  However, this has become quite problematic, contributing to the up rise in diseases such as anorexia and bulimia.  Who knows how long America will remain obsessed with being fat-free, but it will continually contribute to the social changes of America’s culture.    

Bound and Gagged

As I was reading I felt torn between the topics in the book. The first chapter stood out to me the most, because I never really understood or even knew about how they catched predators. Undercover cops are used as decoys to attracted possible predators, however I believe that it is entrapment. Yes, these men are getting online and searching, but how do you we know that this isn't just a fantasy and what if it never leads to having sex with someone who is underage.
The example in the book, just left me confused and didn't understand how someone can be charged with a crime that was never really committed. This man had his life going, basically who cares what goes on behind bedroom doors. This man was having consentual sex with adults, but like to role play; however
To Catch a Pedator is taking what needs to be serious and putting into this crazy reality show, but people love watching stuff like that and forget the seriousness of what is actually happening. These people were contact and had conversations where mainly the decoy would bring up the topic before the person they were going after. We do the bounderies end? How far is to far, when there are dozens of other things seriously happening, but yet police officers are worried about what if.

Pornography as Cultural Expression

According to Bound and Gagged, by Laura Kipnis, "pornography is a form of cultural expression, and though it's transgressive, disruptive, and hits below the belt-- in more ways than one-- it's an essential form of contemporary national culture" (Kipnis viii).  Kipnis feels that pornography should appeal to people, because it's about the deepness of one’s self.  She also feels that it grips the origins of our culture.  Most people see porn strictly as obscene and offending, but Kipnis’ thesis is that it is simply a form of human expression.  “It has meaning, it has ideas. It even has redeeming ideas. So why all the distress?” (The Eloquence of Pornography).  She would like people to look at pornography more creatively and with an open mind.

In support of Kipnis’ thesis, there are people who believe that porn is healthy for both men and women, such as the FFE Inc, which stands for Feminists for Free Expression.   “Half the adult videos in the U.S. are bought or rented by women alone or women in couples.  Sexual health professionals recommend pornography as entertainment and information for women and men” (FFE Inc.).  This is probably surprising information for most Americans, but pornography is known for improving weakening marriages and has helped couples talk about sex, which has been shown to improve their sex lives.  Some women are against porn because they feel that it puts them in harm’s way because of the “violent” behavior displayed in pornography.  However, studies have been shown that porn does not increase violent behavior against woman.  Also, banning women in/from pornography is actually censoring women’s sexuality.

Pornography in the States

Study Links Porn to Politics

A new study by a professor at Harvard found that subscriptions to pornography websites are actually more common in conservative Republican states than in the more liberal Democratic states. This may indicate that states which would normally have stricter laws on pornography viewing and production are actually more likely to view the sites themselves. Benjamin Edelman, who designed the study, said that these results could have multiple meanings. For instance, perhaps the rigid laws against pornography stores in the conservative states have forced the liberals of the state to turn to the Internet. Additionally, Edelman said these results may show that pornography isn't such a bad habit, that really everyone dabbles in it once in a while.

I found the results of this study to be quite interesting. It seems that people with the strongest convictions of what is right and wrong are usually those who fall astray. It seems similar to the tribulations occurring in the Catholic church -- those who are supposed to have the love of God within them are actually mistreating and psychologically harming the young boys who trust them. It also seems that the hate mongers in the world, those against homosexuals, transgenders, bisexuals, etc., have chosen these causes because of some sense of confusion they may have within themselves. Perhaps protesters aren't mad because two men are getting married, but because they have had those same urges. It seems that recently there have been more ironic cases like these. And most often, these are the people on juries across the nation sentencing people to life in prison for being different.

Progressive gets Progressive

Saw this on TV, thought it was interesting. To me these guys are clearly gay. First real "gay" ad I have ever seen.

Week 9: Constant Change in American Culture

          In Manufacturing Desire, in “What Teva Means: Technological Warfare among Everyday Products,” Berger talks about the “constant change in American culture” (Berger 213).  He states that “in some cases the changes are quite minor, though corporations may rise and fall on something as trivial as the invention of Velcro or the development of new kinds of aluminum frying pans” (Berger 213).  He also talks about how advancements in computers and the development of CD-ROMS and Moderns have created opportunities for infinite businesses to expand and for countless businesses to arise.  These businesses have changed Americans lives for forever and have kept us on the continual and everlasting path of change.

          Microsoft has not only changed American culture, but it has changed the technology world worldwide.  “The whole 'information at your fingertips' thing” — a proposal that Bill Gates initially introduced in a 1990 industry speech — has changed the way that Americans receive and put out information.  According to BBC News’ Charles Miller, Bill Gates “has all but accomplished his famous mission statement, to put ‘a computer on every desk and in every home’ - at least in developed countries”.  For those who think that the “computer revolution” would have happened without Bill Gates, they need to realize that 90% of computers run Microsoft’s Windows.  The “computer revolution” has connected people that are states and countries away from each other through cyberspace.  This revolution and Microsoft’s technological advances have changed how people communicate, consume merchandise, advertise, work, and construct their daily lives.

Eating in America

In Manufacturing Desire, Chapter 14 talks about the different types of eating habits on the everyday Americans. Berger talks about how socioeconomic class plays a role. I found this film that dates back into the 1950's and gives eating 101. It shows a the average Americans, a mother, father, sister and brother all eating at the table. Today that is hardly seen. I can remember growing up and just a regular everyday meal we would seat where ever we would like. It was rare that we would all sit together; had to be a special occasion. This was way before fast food chains, such as McDonald's had start, which people had a lot more control of the things they ate.
Today we are surrounded by fast food chains, regardless if we eat them or not. There are been tons of coverage on the way Americans eat, because of the health risk that follows. This movie call Big One
puts people behind the scenes of a Fast Food Chain. There are to many fast food chains and Americans eating habits are horrible. But in the same right, there are so many health stories that come out and you have them saying eating an over amount of red meat is bad, but you do need to eat it(whatever the new portion is) The book says that the average American Breakfast is orange juice, cereal and milk, bacon, eggs, hash browns, coffee, toast and jam, marmalade and ketchup (for hasbrowns) The bacon and eggs is the standard American Breakfast. Looking back at the first video you can see that pattern. The little boy drinks orange juice, cereal and milk, then dives into a plate of eggs and bacon. I couldn't image eating that meal every morning.
I think we are doing a great job of making people aware of eating healthier with movies, radio ads, commercials etc.

Video Games as Playbacks of War

In Manufacturing Desire, Berger discusses a number of different ways the media covered the Gulf War. He says that the graphic and violent images of the war shown on television were similar to that of a video game, wherein the player (or viewer in this case) shoots the "bad guys" who have no back story or family that will miss them, and achieves victory when all of them are dead. Ironically, some of the most popular video games today have this same storyline.

Call of Duty 4 Named Top Video Game

Call of Duty 4, a shoot 'em up game set in modern times, was named the top video game at the Interactive Achievement Awards last month. The video game's concept sets the player as a soldier fighting enemies in Russia and the Middle East. The object of the game is simple: kill the enemy, halting any mayhem they may have intended. Now, why would the government allow such graphic images and ideas to be produced and marketed towards adolescents in their mid to late teens? It could possibly be because that's who is targeted for soldier recruitment. As the war was raging in the Middle East, Call of Duty 1, 2, and 3 were being played by teenage boys looking for something to do. Once those boys went on to graduate and had no idea what to do with their lives, they may have been enticed by the promises of money and pride advertised by the armed services. The armed services are even considering using this same technology to train their soldiers. These popular video games may have helped create a violent desire in some teens.

Week 8: Tobacco Advertising Tactics

According to the American Heart Association, “the National Survey on Drug Use and Health estimates that each day more than 4,000 people under 18 try their first cigarette,” which means that there is “more than 730,000 new smokers every year” due to tobacco industries targeting the youth.  Similar to alcohol advertising, tobacco companies use specific tactics and media campaigns to attract new, young smokers.  “Internal industry documents show that the tobacco companies have perceived kids as young as 13 years of age as a key market, studied the smoking habits of kids, and developed products and marketing campaigns aimed directly at them” (2008 Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids).  

Tobacco companies advertise their products at sports events, which falsely advertises that great athletes and cigarettes go hand in hand.  Sporting events are also seen as “cool” and “fun” by young people, which makes the product placement of tobacco products at sporting events an ideal marketing campaign in attracting new, young consumers.  “Non-tobacco products, such as clothing or toys, affixed with tobacco brand names promote the tobacco product and increase brand recognition, allowing tobacco companies to circumvent traditional tobacco marketing bans” (2008 Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids).  

Industry Sponsored Youth Prevention Programs are highly ineffective and have actually encouraged young people to smoke more.  The reason why the tobacco industry has these youth prevention programs is to gain more profit by appearing to be an industry that doesn’t support youth smoking and supports youth health.  However, “industry-sponsored youth prevention programs are created to improve the tobacco industry’s public image and discourage further tobacco control legislation” (2008 Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids).  How are these hidden marketing tactics effecting our culture?

Advertising in Alcohol

In this week’s reading, Berger discusses alcohol advertising and the ways advertisers use different tactics to create enticing commercials. Berger states that advertisers use humor and a sense of fun to create advertisements that manufacture desire of alcoholic products. For example, video #1 employs humor to sell beer. The premise is very simple: a meeting in which office members are discussing cutting costs in the company. A man suggests not serving Budweiser at every meeting and is subsequently thrown out the window. Video #2 uses the idea of having fun. It’s a mock campaign for Captain Morgan as President. The commercial is littered with images of people lounging by the pool and partying in clubs.

Video #1


Video #2


Similarly, anti-alcohol groups have attempted to employ the same advertising techniques in their public service announcements (PSAs). As shown in the first video, the main character is having a great time at a barbecue, drinking and making people laugh. Though this commercial ends in misfortune, the beginning of the video tries to emulate alcohol advertisements by showing how fun drinking can be for a minute. The next video uses humor to sell the idea of drinking responsibly. This man’s story also ends in tragedy. Though PSAs have tried to utilize the same tactics that have made alcohol advertisements successful, they seem to fall short due to lack of funds and inability to reach a national audience. While Budweiser can show multiple commercials throughout the Superbowl, advocacy groups do not have the same financial means to do so.


Video #1


Video #2

Carefull With Alcohol - More bloopers are a click away